nonFictionality

When we encounter the unexpected, a story begins…

Archive for the category “Relationships”

What My Car Taught Me About Life and Faith

When I graduated from high school my parents surprised me with my first car, a 1997 Volkswagen Jetta gls.  It drove smoother than almost any other car I have ever driven.  And, better yet, it had a working sunroof, automatic windows, automatic locks, CD player, manual transmission, and speakers that, when turned all of the way up, could be heard from down the street.  It was three different shades of red, but they were the most perfect three shades of red that I had ever seen.  And it looked especially good with me in it and my girlfriend at the time beside of me.
I was proud.
Until I had to drop three hundred dollars into it to have a starter clutch replaced two weeks later.
Then I cursed.
Then, after having it for a month or so, it rained.  I found out that, when a coil on the bottom of the car got wet, the engine would shut off.  Thus, making my car un-driveable until this coil had completely dried.  Usually it would shut off in the middle of a busy road or a parking lot.  I would have to wait for up to two hours before it would begin working again, and then, whenever it did work again there was no guarantee that I would make it to my destination before it decided to cut off.
During those waits I would hit my steering wheel and curse.  And, when someone would come up and knock on my window to ask if everything was alright, I would be embarrassed and say that everything was fine so that they would go away.
One time my dad had to come help me push it out of the middle of one of the busiest roads in our town during a torrential downpour.  Not one of my proudest moments.  I think I cried.  Though it might have just been the rain in my eyes.
Slowly the perfection that this little ’97 Jetta once held, started to fade away.  Eventually, I couldn’t lock the doors because the alarm would go off for forty-five minutes when I unlocked it again.  When I would drive down the road my gas gauge would fluctuate so that I could never tell if I was empty or full, so I filled it up a little bit every few miles to avoid the embarrassment of walking down the road with the red gas can of shame.  Not only could I not tell how much gas I had, but I couldn’t tell how fast I was going either.  The speedometer stopped working.  And soon after it, the tachometer stopped reading. Eventually my girlfriend would make up excuses as to why we should drive her car instead of mine.  She’d try to lure me into driving her car with the new car smell, which eventually became a swift kick to my masculinity and pride.
It had fallen apart.
My car.
My life.
I look back and I see the clouds of that storm and the rains it brought with it.  I look back and I am amazed at what that little car is still teaching me.
Here is what I have learned:
It is okay to yell at God and hit the steering wheel every once in a while, He can handle my anger and frustration.  In the end, He is still going to love me.  He is going to forgive me for my tantrum.
The people that ask if I need help are people that actually care about my life and well being.  We can ignore these people all we want, but if they truly care about us they will always be there.  It is important to have these people around you, no matter how embarrassed you may be at your life.
There will always be storms, but that doesn’t mean that I always have to shut down when going through them.  I’ve realized that during a storm, I, unlike my car, have the choice to shut down or to push through the rain and wind out into the sunlight.  God still has a plan for me, even though I may not be able to see through the sheets of circumstances that I may currently be driving through.
If I am not confident in who I am and what my Father has given me, I do not need to be in any kind of dating relationship.  Sometimes, when you’re as stubborn as me, this lesson takes a long time to learn.  God has made me just how I am and He has given me everything I have because He loves me and because of that grand plan He promises for my life.  My identity is not found in another person or in worldly things, it is found in Him and Him alone.

I sincerely hope that the lessons I learned from my 1997 Jetta resonate with you in some way today.
I pray that, if you are driving through a storm today, that you remember who is in control.  He has a plan.
Continue driving, even though you can’t see the sunlight right now.  Don’t you dare stop!

And, as a favor I would like to ask you to take half a second out of your day and have a moment of silence for Clark, the Jetta. I would greatly appreciate it.  While he was the source of much frustration, he was a valiant steed.
Have a great day!
-Josh

Thank you again for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on all of my vehicle mishaps and life lessons learned.  And if you have some lessons or mishaps to share of your own, I would love to hear those as well!

A note to youth leaders pt. 3

Recently I have been thinking a lot about leadership and what it really means to play a part in the lives of the generation of world changers that is rising up among us.  God has shown me a lot of stuff and I am excited to share some of this with you today! The following is the third of a series of posts on youth leadership.  You can check the first and second ones out here and here.

Youth Leader:

We will never see a generation rise up to fight for the heart of God until we, as leaders, are willing to charge the battlefield.  The generation of Christ followers that is being raised up does not need to be led by cowards.  It needs to be led by those that will lay their lives down and not be afraid of the onslaught of the Enemy.

As leaders we must lay down our preconceptions and our judgments.  We have to talk to those that may often be overlooked.  Yes, they may be strange, but they will always remain strange if we continue to be a stranger.

As leaders we not only have to charge the battlefield, but we have to invest in the lives of those that are charging the battlefield behind us.  We have to rally the troops.  Not a single person will ever trust us as leaders if we never invest our time in them.

Thank you for leading and being apart of the Revival that is happening in schools, lives, communities, and churches all across the world!

-Josh

Thank you again for reading! It always means a lot to hear what you think, so be sure to leave a comment below! Have a blessed day!

What to do when your guy sucks…

Relationships are, perhaps, one of the most talked about things in our society today.  People talk about dreams of being in a relationship.  They talk about dreams while they are in a relationship.  And then, when they are out of a relationship, they start dreaming again of what the next relationship will be like.

A lot of times, it is frustrating.

It is frustrating to see how most people jump from relationship to relationship without gaining a sense of who they are as a person.  They lack a sense of identity if they are not with someone.  I’ve been one of those people, I have written about my experiences and revelations here.

It is frustrating to see people focus on a relationship above all else in life.  Their goal in life is not to live to the full potential that rests inside of them. It is to find a mate. And, whenever that one doesn’t pan out as expected and they’re left to fend for themselves again, they set off to find another one.

It is frustrating to see how the media has skewed the image of a healthy dating relationship.  Date. Fight. Break-up. Have steamy make-up sex. Repeat.  You think I’m kidding. I wish I was, but, sadly, I’m not.  It gets to the point where some people feel like giving up on relationships all together, because all they see when they look in the mirror is someone far from what the media has defined as desirable, confident, or sexy.  I spoke on this subject last week.  If you care to read more, you can read here.

The thing that has frustrated me over the past few weeks though is hearing and seeing girls who refuse to admit that the guy they are dating is sucking the life out of them.  So, I’ve decided to make a list of things to look for in your relationship and to give some tips to the guys on how to not suck so much.  If you find that these statements in some way describe the relationship you are currently in, I would advise you to have a nice sit down talk to work things out or get rid of him. Harsh? Yes. Needed? Completely.

Ladies, is he leading you in your walk with Christ, or are you the one leading?  Guys, are you letting her know that you are praying for her daily?  Do you initiate prayer before a meal?  Do you pray together?  Do you pray at all?  Or do you let her do all of the praying and encouraging?

Next.

Ladies, does he go out of his way to see you or let you know that he is thinking about you throughout the day?  I know that many people say that guys shouldn’t get too clingy, but I do think that it is important to let the girl you are pursuing/dating know that you are thinking about them.  It lets them know you care.  It is important for them to know that you think they are special.  You should think they are special and unique and beautiful enough to take the time out of your day to do this.  Some ways you might go about this are sending her a note, giving her a call, sending her a letter (even if you’re in the same city). A text is always good.  But a call is better.  Even if she can’t answer, leave her a voicemail.

Ladies, if he doesn’t let you know that he is thinking about you and he isn’t making you feel special, it may mean that he is only using you for the physical aspect of the relationship. Be on your guard.

Guys, buy her some flowers.  I know that it may be embarrassing to walk through a store carrying a bouquet of flowers, but hold your chin high!  Let people look at you and say what they will, but I guarantee you that when people see you with those flowers, they’ll know that you really care about the girl you’re buying them for.  They’ll be able to see it in the way you carry yourself.  So, get over the initial embarrassment. Walk with confidence. Be a man.

Ladies, and guys as well, if your parents, your best friend, those closest to you, the cashier at the grocery store, the barista at the coffee shop, and the random person on the street tell that the person you are dating is a complete jerk, LISTEN TO THEM! Stop ignoring all of the signs!!

I will leave you with one last thought, and I pray that you stop and really think about this.

If the relationship is a real priority to both parties, both will put the time and effort into it to make it work.  Not one of you is excluded in this. If you see that the other is not as committed to putting their time and effort in, cut the cord.

You don’t need them.

You deserve better than that. No arguing. It’s true.

And, while the subject of dating frustrates me to no end, I have seen the beauty and benefit of healthy dating relationships and what they can offer to those willing to take the time and effort to invest in a healthy relationship.

I’ve recently had the privilege of seeing friends in dating relationships take a new step into the new adventure of engagement.

I’ve watched as friends take vows of commitment to each other, turning the page and beginning a new chapter of marriage.

And, I’ve had the great privilege and honor of growing up and soaking in the beauty of what a healthy marriage looks like. To which I owe much thanks to my incredibly loving parents.

Don’t give up looking for a great relationship.  But, more importantly, don’t settle for a mediocre version of the incredible relationship that God has in store for you.

“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” -Ephesians 3:20

Good luck,

Josh

Thank you again, for taking the time to read.  I know that I don’t have the whole relationship thing figured out, but I do hope and pray that all I’ve learned through my experiences is something that can offer you guidance on your journey. Have a great day!

Those Friends

Click the link below to listen to this week’s post! Hope you enjoy!

Those Friends

This is for those friends who feel like giving up, those friends that are convinced that they are not good enough.  This is for those friends who lack the sight to see everything that makes them beautiful and special, but not just to me.  To everyone around them, to everyone that can see, that they’ve got so much more to offer than society’s screwed up definition of social mediocrity.

Society doesn’t define the beauty inside.  The media doesn’t realize that it makes you want to run and hide.

You’ve got beauty and you’ve got it in great abounds.  Don’t you dare, for a second, listen to those dreadful media sounds. 

To be beautiful you don’t have to have sex.  Ladies, if your boy is telling you that, it’s about time you made him your ex. 

And to the gentlemen, it’s about time you see the ladies, the way that God intended them to be seen.  I know, for a second, the truth I’m about to tell you, might even sound a little bit mean.

The media tells us that it’s all good if we call them hoes and sluts, but the Lord, our Savior, tells us that we should show them love.  And not the kind of love where you drop your pants, and tell her what’s up.  But the kind of love where you open up your arms and welcome your sister in, a kind of love that sheds all of the labels, a love that forgives sins.

That’s the kind of love that God wants us to embrace. So, stop looking at her backside, and look at her face.  And ladies, if a guy can’t look you in the eyes and see everything that God’s made you to be, I give you full permission, to flip him off, he’s been around that block too many times, and it’s time you tell him to leave.

So, stop thinking that you’re not good enough. Fellas, ladies, I know that it may be hard to see, but there’s a God that loves you for everything that you are, because He knows all that He has created you to be.

Have an incredible week! Thanks, as always, for reading/listening, it means more to me than you know!

-Josh

Labels


God sees what we often fail to see.

While we may look at the exterior, God looks at the heart.

While we may extend only judgement, God extends only Grace.

It is about time that we shed the labels and start seeing people the way God sees them.

Stop looking at the outside.

It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

-Josh

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